How to relax when you’re someone who feels like they have to be busy

Hello ☺️

How is everyone today? Melting? I thought so... 

We’re on the hottest day of the year so far and I can tell. After going for a quick swim this morning and I left my hair wet after washing it. Within 15 minutes of being outside it had dried... Are we even in England?

Having very fair skin and a body that doesn’t know how to cool down is a bad combo and so aside from swimming you’ll find me indoors, in the coolest room of the house, until this evening when I’ll catch up with friends for a drink. 

My Dad is at home today and we ended up listening to T Rex, Queen, The Smiths and The Sex Pistols and then having quite a philosophical natter. I was saying how, as I get older I am learning to embrace things I can’t change more and focus on what I can. I was also saying though, whilst I don’t get as frustrated when I don’t feel well as I used to, I still have days where I get more irritated by my limitations than others. I was saying that you’d think when you can’t change something I’d just accept it and sometimes (more times) I can, but sometimes I can’t. I was asking Dad how he see’s illness and how he has quite a black and white acceptance of things.

This got us discussing how we learn and grow in general, with dad saying he puts things in boxes and moves forward, whereas I like to live in the present but with an awareness of the past and everything it has taught me. This also makes me quite loyal and unless something absolutely unforgivable happens I like to keep in touch with the people I truly like, even if we met years ago and are very different people. I like having lots of opinions and personalities from the past and present as I think it opens your mind more.

Anyway...

From this it made me think about how your nurture also plays a massive role in the expectations you put on yourself. My family are very active people, my Mum and Dad always worked full time (up to when I got PoTS and Mum helped me at home), I went to a childminders growing up and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. They are the kind of people to be either working, at the gym, playing tennis or on a walk. I too am active, considering my health condition and disability I think I do a lot more than others would.

My background means though, that I find it hard when I need to rest. I feel like I’m wasting the day even though to rest is so important and means I can continue the next day. I can feel restless and irritated even when I know I’m actually literally doing something beneficial in doing nothing. But these ideas are juxtaposed when you come from a background like mine, where we very rarely just sit and watch tv.

Since my abilities and needs are so different to that of my family’s, I have got much better at going easier on myself, however.  I thought I’d do a list of all the relaxing and soul nourishing activities I’ve come to love as a way of showing that relaxing/resting/recuperating can be essential not just nice. 

1.) Make your favourite cup of tea and take your time drinking it

2.) Have a bubble bath and take your time soaking in it

3.) Go to the library and find out what events are happening in your area

4.) Go on a walk, even if it’s short - and listen to the birds/note the colours

5.) Read something inspiring

6.) Join a group - like an art class - that’s often free or inexpensive

7.) Wander round a book shop

8.) Catch the train to your next town and get a coffee and read the paper

9.) Listen to your favourite Podcast or YouTube channel

10.) Chat to a good friend

11.) Join a book club and enjoy reading things you normally wouldn’t 

12.) Write a diary or blog

13.) Burn your favourite candle whilst listening to your favourite music

14.) Decide on what you want for tea and enjoying making a list and buying the ingredients 

15.) Start watching a new series you think looks good 

16.) Go and look for present ideas for a friend’s birthday coming up and enjoy thinking of what they may want

17.) Write a letter to a friend who lives far away

18.) Have your photos developed and stick them in a scrap book

19.) Go and do a sport you love that makes you feel free (for me this is swimming)

20.) Look at the clothes you have and think of combinations of how to style them

There are so many things that are so mundane, but so relaxing. When you feel you haven’t done much ask yourself - “Has something made you feel peaceful?” “Has something made you feel happy?” 

That’s all that matters.

Thank you for reading, Molly x